Five Tips for Telling Kids You Are Separating

Deciding to get a legal divorce is tough, especially if you have children. Parents can be in anguish over how to break the news to their children. Any parent can use some assistance when it comes to talking to their kids about getting a divorce. If you are ready to tell your children about your separation, know that it can significantly ease your child's anxiety by following these pointers:

  1. When is the Best Time? Parents should have already planned for the next phase of the family dynamic before they break the news to their children. It is important to tell the kids exactly what is going to happen after the divorce, so they do not have any anxiety about not knowing what is going to happen to them, and can lean on you for assistance. Children will never forget when their parents told them they are getting a legal divorce, so do not pick a special day like Christmas to tell them. Rather pick a time when you are around for the next two days, if they have any questions.
  2. Who Breaks Then News The best thing to do is to tell the children together. Your children will then see you are both aligned and that it was a mutual decision. It is important not to break the family unit immediately and show them that you and your partner act as a team.
  3. What Do You Say There is no need to go into intimate details when it comes to your legal divorce process. The last thing you want to do is play the blame game or to point fingers at your partner. It is fine to tell the children that the marriage was not working and you have both decided that your relationship will work better if you are separated. Children almost always think that they are the reason their parents are getting a divorce. It is your job to assure them that it is not their fault. Remind them that they will always have a mom and dad that loves them and that the decision to get a divorce has nothing to do with them.
  4. The Kids’ Reaction Every child reacts and copes differently to a divorce. The best assistance you can give your children is to answer all the questions they might have and encourage them to ask questions. Whether they want to know where they will be staying, or how often they will get to see the other parent, it is best to prepare yourself for any questions they might have.
  5. The Next Steps Let your children’s teachers and instructors know, as well as the parents of their close friends. These caring adults can offer additional comfort and assistance for your children at this time. Watch for unusual or troubling behaviours, so you can seek for professional assistance if needed. At Riëtte Oosthuizen Attorneys, we know that divorces can get messy. If you require legal divorce assistance and advice, look no further than using our legal divorce attorneys that always have you and your children’s best interests at heart.

Why settle for less when it comes to your family? Contact us and make an appointment for legal advice today.